Stop what you’re doing. Pause Game of Thrones. Put down that margarita… because I’M BACK ya groupies! Zoe’s Thoughtz is officially a blog again… not just words inside my head.
Let’s rewind a few weeks. I took a week off (I’m the CEO so I approved it) because I took a trip to Grenada (yes in the Bahamas not Grenada, Spain *cough cough* @you know-it-all’s). I came back and was psyched to start writing a blog to tell you all about my time abroad. I go to open Zoe’s Thoughtz and… “UH WHAT.” Not only was everything deleted from Zoe’s Thoughtz… Zoe’s Thoughtz DID. NOT. EXIST.
I texted my dad in a panic because a similar thing has happened in the past and he fixed it real fast. He always fixes my problems. It’s like the opposite of daddy issues. Shoutout to Larry. Within seconds I knew something was wrong because rather than texting me back I got a phone call. AND DAMN I WISH I WASN’T SO RIGHT because there was something wrong. SOMETHING SO WRONG. Here’s how it went:
Larry: Hey PiP (that’s me)
Me: Hey what’s wrong with my blog can you tell @tech guy to fix it…
Larry: You were hacked, they took your blog, Zoe’s Thoughtz is gone.
Larry: The hackers asked for ransom but then still didn’t release the blog or content.
So basically my life became a movie when this mystery hacker wanted money in return for my blog but then ran off with my (dad’s) money AND my blog. Now I’m blogless and moneyless.
HEY HACKER I’M NOT SCARY COME BE MY FRIEND DON’T TAKE MY WHOLE F*CKING BLOG WE COULD COLLAB YOU CAN HAVE IT M/W/F AND I’LL TAKE IT T/TH. WE CAN SHARE MY THOUGHTS IF YOU CARE THAT MUCH BUT DELETING THE WHOLE THING IS JUST CRUEL. NOW PEOPLE WON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT CHAPSTICK OR PACKAGES OR MY PARENTS DIVORCE OR MY NIGHT ON AN ESCORT SITE OR HOW I THOUGHT KAYAKS WERE MADE TO GO IN A POOL BECAUSE ALL THOSE BLOGS. ARE. GONE.
Well anyway I realized most people I know are not social workers and that the supportive bubble I live in at school is fake because when I told my people that my blog was hacked they either 1) laughed or 2) said “well why didn’t you save your blogs on google.” Ya know people neither of those make me feel any better in my time of mourning. JUST SAYING.
One of the funniest things I do has to do with my passwords for different sites, but sadly I am the only one who gets to laugh about my geniusness because I obviously can’t share them. Well the most ironic part of this whole hacking situation is that my previous blog password was youdontknowmythoughtsyourenotzoe. WELL CLEARLY THEY MUST HAVE GOTTEN CONFUSED AND THOUGHT THEY WERE ME. I’m just gonna leave that there.
Long sad story later, I AM BACK. I am going to try and rewrite some blogs. If you really loved one in particular, comment which one and I’ll try and bring it back to life. Thanks for sticking with me along this crazy journey sometimes referred to as my life.