Well this season may not be THE most dramatic season ever because the guy with a gf was ALREADY found and sent home *shoutout to detective Demi.* Anyway Chris Harrison cleaning up cursing about Joe is the supportive friend we all need. Also Hannah prayed to be smart.
Guys in red went home already so bye bye bye boys.
*disclaimer: I continued to write for each guy as a I had things to say throughout the episode so here is my streams of consciousness*
Scott: Nervous and couldn’t talk when he got out of the limo – no wonder cause he has a secret… HE HAS GF BOY BYE
Connor S.: Unoriginal. Jumped a fence. Then was out of breath. Copied Colton and did it worse. Oh and now they kissed.
Chasen: “Girls like guys in uniform” *doesn’t come in his uniform.* Then he made pilot jokes… that weren’t funny.
Peter: Pilot IN uniform. He wanted to be a pilot. He became a pilot. I like his commitment. With that kind of follow-through I have high hopes he will go far in this competition.
Tyler C.: Construction stripper? Are we in Flash Dance? No wonder cause he’s also from Florida. FLORIDA MAN ABORT.
Devin: fake VIRGIN. Cocky but has a colorful tie.
John Paul Jones: John Paul Jones. WTF HOW IS HE NOT GONE.
Luke P.: Self-declared “good looking guy” who had a spiritual awakening in the shower…. hm makes you think. Also thinks he’s Hulk with the way he jumped out of that limo. But he’s cute so like… he ain’t wrong. Took her first clearly still confident though. Oh wait he went to comfort her in her moment of sadness. Not sure how genuine he is but he knew how to capitalize on that moment. I KNEW IT THERE IS THE ROSE. And there is kiss #3 of the night.
Cam: He says he wont kiss on the first date yet somehow made it make sense that this was his second date… even though they haven’t gone on a date… so he could kiss her. He’s that fuck boy that says shit that you believe in the moment until YOU later try to explain his rational he told you to your friend and it doesn’t make any sense anymore. He also has REAL first impression rose.
Matt Donald: I have mixed feelings here. I first remembered him as “cow guy.” THEN he said he liked Hannah’s TERRIBLE toast last season so he went to the bottom of my list. But his little cowboy song really won me over. I didn’t think I liked Matt Donald until he got sent home and then I was sad. Bye Matt, you’ll be missed.
Joe: Builds boxes. Talks about boxes. Jumps out of boxes.
Mike: Lives his life by the “5 C’s” – I’ll do 5 Z’s – Zesty, Zealous, Zodiac (sign), Zen, and Zany.
Connor J.: Party with butt game. Half from Hong Kong, half from Iowa. I have enough facts on your life that you had to stick around.
Jed: Clashing blue suit with brown shoes. Didn’t like you until you became a singer.
Kevin: Behavioral Health Specialist yassss we’re here for this. And football. Smart, good morals, athletic. Don’t really know him but I’m already pulling for him.
Thomas: LIAR – no girl who is a stranger on tv will top 5 years of travel. Fact.
Joey: Baby champagne. Who are you? But I like babies and champagne so like I’m not complaining.
Brian: Awkward Spaz
Tyler G.: You’re in my dreams… creep.
Luke S.: Was on after the final rose. Still don’t remember him and I’ve seen him twice now.
Dylan: It’s hard to wear a white tux and still not be memorable… but he managed to.
Mathew: Car bid spotter. WTF is that? Not memorable.
Matteo: “Took my breath away.” Not memorable.
Darron: Walked the wrong way. Not memorable.
Dustin: White shoes. Shaved part. Not memorable.
Ryan: Roller blades. Not memorable.
Garrett: Sexual hole-in-one golf jokes – Not memorable.
Hunter: Tie knot. Not memorable.
Grant: Mustard. Not memorable.
Jonathan: Pizza. Not memorable.