I recently found a positive aspect of being single, there is no confusion. When talking about your relationship status, happy about it or not, you are SINGLE. Alone. No plus one status. There is nothing to be confused about, you are just a single human looking for another single (keyword) human of liking.
I thought once meeting another compatible human life becomes easy breezy beautiful. People just throw around “sorry I have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ partner” so often that it seemed like most not single people figured it out. They have conquered the dating world.
OH WAS I WRONG.
Once meeting a likable single human how does one go from being single to not being single. NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT THE WORLD OF CONFUSION YOU ENTER.
This is not Love is Blind. You do not go from single to engaged in 5 days. That show is, say it with me, UN-REAL-ISTIC.
I think we can all agree you usually start out in the “talking” phase. You are getting to know each other. Seeing if you are compatible. This is really the only point that makes sense. Here comes the first confusion. When you are on a first date and you’re getting to know each other is this considered talking or dating? At what point does the talking turn into dating?
What if he/she/they calls your date “getting drinks.” Is it a date even if it’s not called a date? If you guys just “grabbed dinner” the first time you hung out alone is that just dinner or is that a date too? Does a date have to be specified as a date or is any planned exclusive interactions considered a date?
But lets say it was a date. Is “dating” the act of going on dates? Or is talking the act of going on dates and dating is when you are “in a relationship?” At what point in this process do you move from single to not single?
If the dates are going well at what point do you become exclusive. Is this a talked about decision or is it just a feeling that you hope the other person has too? If you think you’re exclusive but it was never talked about and they get a Tinder match, is that cheating?
At what point do you delete your dating apps? When going on dates, if you’re not exclusive you can talk to other people, right? But at what point will you get offended if you see the other person get “a match” while you’re on a date. First date? Third date?
Although people talk badly on Facebook, it did solve all my questions so simply because people would become “Facebook official.” The day you changed your relationship status was the day you crossed from single to in a relationship. Thank you Facebook for making life understandable.
So here we are still with the same question, single until what point?
To be in a relationship I think we can all agree that you then are a girlfriend or boyfriend. But is this a gradual after a certain amount of time thing or is this also a declared moment that is discussed? Can you be together but not in a relationship? Is that what the whole “no title” thing is?
Okay but now what about “friends with benefits.” This one is simple to me, you’re single and you’re doing some naughty things with someone you’re not with. But what I don’t get is when people are “exclusive friends with benefits.” What’s the difference between that and dating? I don’t have the answers, just the questions.
“It’s complicated.” Is that code for really anything. What if you have a crush and they don’t like you. That sounds complicated to me. But does it have to be a mutual complication? Would that just mean you’re out of luck? I think “it’s complicated” would be a form of being single because clearly you’re not together. But if you’re mutually and exclusively complicated then are you not single? I just don’t get it. Maybe that’s why it is complicated?
Most people will say this is an easy fix, it’s called communication. But dang it’s not that easy!!! I get prepared and hype myself up to ask the hard-hitting questions *cough cough* “so like what are we?” and end up talking about Popeyes chicken sandwiches instead. Why does nobody warn you about the entire dating process which is just a constant state of being confused.
TLDR: Quit asking me “are you guys official yet” CAUSE I DON’T KNOW.
Comment please because I need answers.