Well I’m glad you asked. I’ve been here and it took me a while but it is possible! I know from experience that having a crush on a bartender human is different (and way more complicated) than having a crush on a non-bartender human. Let me explain:
The job description of a Bartender calls for everything you are looking for in a significant other.
- Good conversationalist – they are rather charming. They know how to hold an engaging conversation even over a bar top filled with people.
- Accepting – they see you at your worst, hear the things you definitely should not say out loud, and then are still excited to see you the next day like nothing ever happened. They also don’t judge you for going to the bar the next day.
- Attention – not only do they remember you, they remember your favorite drinks. They are always ready when they see you coming in. They also will always include you in shots they pour regardless of who ordered them. They make you feel seen amongst a sea of beautiful humans.
- Reliable – you always know when and where to expect them, they don’t let you down or stand you up. They’re not like people who may or may not leave you on read on any given day.
- Respectful – they never cross the line. They will come out from behind the bar and give you a hug (making you feel even more special), but the bar top between you makes for a pure friendship, you never feel taken advantage of.
- Fun – they are always down for a fun night and always want to join in on your good time.
These qualities plus the alcohol you have consumed makes a crush form rather instantly. But here comes the kicker: do they like you too or do they just want your money? This will leave you in a constant state of wonder and confusion.
As for me, the only way I found to move on was to realize that BARTENDERS ARE JUST BEING NICE BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAPPED BEHIND A BAR AND CANNOT ESCAPE YOU. The hard facts. If they actually liked you they would get your number and talk to you. They would put-in-the-e.f.f.o.r.t.
Ask yourself, why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t actively try to be with you. They may enjoy your presence at the bar but they clearly don’t try and be your friend outside of the bar. YOU CAN DO BETTER.
And when that fails wait until you meet someone better to fill in the void left in your heart.