PSA: This is not about one person in particular, it’s about a selective few, but if you think you’re part of it, you’re probably right.
I’ve done a previous blog on all the shitty things that guys have done to my friends, but below are all personal experiences from yours truly. Sucks for these guys that I have a blog and I have no shame. Luckily for you all, I have a blog and I have no shame. SO HERE YA GO.
If you want to be the next guy to TRY to fuck me over, here are 10 guidelines to help you out!
- Only talk to me over snapchat so that there is NO EVIDENCE when you send inappropriate messages and emotionally cheat on your girlfriend.
- Flirt with me for a month, then when we finally go out together, KISS my friend in front of me, then try to kiss me two hours later.
- After talking for two years, let me know I was just for FUN.
- Knowingly let me drive over an hour to come see you, say hi for 15 seconds, then walk away without saying goodbye.
- Text me that you want to take me on a date when I get home, then post a picture with your new GIRLFRIEND the same day.
- Wait until I get in a relationship to message me “if you find yourself single you should come visit.” Then when I break up with him and fly to see you, UN-INVITE me and tell me to stay with a friend.
- Tell me you’re not talking to your ex, then let me catch you talking to your EX.
- Tell me I couldn’t handle you in bed, just like your GIRLFRIEND can’t. Then make sure to apologize cause you only wanted to be friends and I took your messages the wrong way.
- Once we are official, call me to come pick you up drunk at a bar, then pull out your bumble and message girls NEXT TO ME while I drive you home.
- Lastly, now this one is important cause it happens every damn time, once I call you out on all the shit you’ve done, first apologize, then ask to still be my friend, because you don’t want to lose me.
Well if you don’t want to lose me you should have thought about that first.
What I really don’t understand is that almost every one of you eventually came back and tried to talk to me again. Sorry I’m not that easy to walk over, try and treat me right the first time and you wouldn’t be begging for me back.
Listen boys, I’m getting pretty damn good at these fuck-off messages. Think of them as breakups with someone you never dated. Weird right? Tell me about it. But thank you for the practice and thank you for making me stronger.
Just remember, I forgive, but I sure as hell don’t forget.